I Know
by AriesJohnston
Summary: Odette knew something was different when he got back to London. She knew something had happened. She knew what she had to do next. Oneshot, Odette POV, Rogan, Set towards the end of and post Gilmore Girls: A Year In the Life. Spoilers for those who haven't yet seen Fall.


Somethings different. He's not smiling as much anymore, not those true smiles that he would get after seeing her. Yes, I know about her. I don't know whether he doesn't realise I know, or just doesn't care.

I love him, but I'm not in love with him. This marriage is a merger, a dynastic proposition that our parents arranged. We've known each other for years, meeting at various functions over time.

Yes I know about her. I've always known that his heart lies with her. I know about their intense relationship back in college. I know that he loved her deeply enough to make her his only one instead of one of the many. I know that he loved her enough to propose, going against everything his family wanted. I know he was devastated, broken when she said no.

I also know when she came back into his life. Yes, we lived separately; London, Paris. I could tell when it seemed like he came back to life. It was like fresh air had been blown into him.

I know that soft, wistful smile when he's in a daze isn't for me. I know that his eyes don't light up when he sees my name on his phone like it does when it's her. I know that sense of excitement he doesn't realise he gets is always when I'm leaving, not when I'm arriving. I know that despite the kiss that I receive when I return, he is far away and missing her already.

But something is different. He hasn't been himself got back from what he said was a LDB event back home, but I know it was really an excuse to see her. I know that when he returned he has a look of regret in his eyes. I know his smiles are false. I know he's throwing himself into his work again to hide from the pain.

I know that what I'm about to do will have severe repercussions. I know it will either bring us together, or drive us apart completely. I also know that if there is any for us to make it through this sham of an engagement that I need to do this now.

"Logan?"

He looks up at me, raising his eyebrow in a silent question to what I was after.

"What happened when you were back in the states? What happened between you and her?"

His mouth drops down slightly in shock for a moment, his eyes wide and fearful before the Huntzberger mask fell back into place. "Excuse me?"

"Don't play the fool Logan. I've known you long enough. We both know what this between us is really about. Now, I'll ask you again," before looking pointedly at him. "What happened between you and Rory?"

Stunned at the sound of her name coming from my lips, Logan's walls crumbled. Lips twisted in a grimace, pain shining through his eyes, he bowed his head. "She said goodbye. It's, it's done."

"Are you in love with her?"

The room was silent and still for what seemed like forever, but in reality was just a few seconds.

"Yes. I always have been."

I nodded my head, then angled it looking at him, "And is she in love with you?"

His lips lifted ever so slightly, like the thought of her loving him filled him with such happiness and joy that his body couldn't even contain the emotion, even in front of me, before dropping even lower in despair.

"Not that she said it but yes, she is. It's why she said goodbye. It's why she made me come home."

It was what I thought. I took a deep breath, knowing what I was about to ask, the coming answer that would decide the path we would follow. "If it was not for our engagement, would you fight for her? Would you fight for her love, a life with her away from the shadows?"

Logan looks me in the eye, silently looking for the answer to his own unasked question. Seeing the truth, the need for me to know he nod his head once, simply stating, "Yes."

"Thank you for being honest with me," I say, giving him a small smile and touching his hand with the same hand that I wear my ring. He turns his hand over and entwined his fingers with mine. "I'm sorry if my deceit, and if my being truthful has hurt you. I do love you, Odette."

I bring his hand to my lips and kiss it gently. "I know, but you are not in love with me. It would have hurt more if you lied about what I already knew to be true." I took a breath before continuing, "Which is why I love you enough to let you go. I'll speak with my father and get us released from our engagement."

Shock radiates from him as he shakes his head. "No we can't. Our families, the businesses, they won't let us."

"Logan, stop. I will deal with it, father will be disappointed but he will understand. I am his little girl after all. I agreed to this when he came to me because I knew we had potential, that we could be good together. I knew I loved you and that it could be easy to fall in love with you if given the chance. Staying together now though would not be fair to all three of us, it would cause as all so much pain.

"Oh Odette, I'm so sorry," he said, this time being his turn to kiss my hands. "I went into this thinking the same thing. I never anticipated her return to my life, that the feelings would still be there so strong still after all these years. I thought that you could be my chance for happiness and love."

A small tear rolled down my cheek at his words. "I know, but this is why I'm doing this. I can't l can't let it drag on any longer before I hurt myself too much. This will be bearable. Later would not." I raise my hand up to the side of his face, cupping it softly. "You would be so easy to love." I kiss him softly before pulling back. "Now, pack. Do what you need to and fly home to her before it's too late. I'll handle father, who will handle yours. There will be no penalties, no losses. I'll pack up myself in the coming days before heading back to Paris."

Logan smiles at me softly, "Thank you, so much. I hope that you can find someone that will love you as you deserve, as I should have." I smile in return, "Now I have the chance to. Stay in touch though. Please. I don't want to lose you as my friend after all this."

"Definitely." He hugs me tightly before letting me go, moving around the room to pack what he needs immediately and booking flights from his laptop. Not too much time later he receives notice that the car is downstairs waiting for him. He stops on his way to the door and kisses my cheek in fair well before whispering softly, "Thank you Odette."

"Let me know what happens, and if it's not too awkward I want an invitation to the wedding." He smirks in response, "I'll let you know," before walking out the door. 

* * *

A few weeks later I received a letter in the mail, along with an invitation Logan and Rory's wedding. I smiles at the sight of it before sitting back to read the letter.

 _Dear Odette,_

 _I don't know if I'm overstepping my bounds by writing this letter, but when Logan asked me if we could invite you to the wedding I felt that I had to write you._

 _I'm sorry if our actions hurt you. It was never my intention to start something with Logan again when we ran into each other. Something kept drawing us together though. I tried so hard to stop, then to block out what I was doing to you when I couldn't resist any further, until the day I couldn't anymore. I'm sorry if my selfishness caused you pain._

 _There is one other thing I needed to say to you though._

 _Thank you._

 _I know how hard it is to give up the man you love, because that is what I was feeling when I said good bye that day 10 years ago, and again 3 months ago when I sent him home to you. But I will always be grateful that you had the strength I never had, because I have gotten the two greatest gifts one could ever receive. The love of a man who loves me, and the child that we created together._

 _What neither of us realised that night I said good bye for the final time was that we had conceived this tiny, precious gift. I had only just found out a few days before Logan appeared at my door, telling me all of what happened, of what you had said. Because of your infinite strength,our child will have their daddy around, ensuing that they will never forget that he loves them, and will always be there. I will be eternally grateful._

 _If it is not too difficult for you, I would love to meet and get to know you. I understand though if you can't. I'm not sure I would have been able to if the tables were turned._

 _Thank you once more,_

 _Rory._

I close my eyes and breathe deeply when I finish her letter, letting my arm fall with it into my lap. I now know that I did indeed do the right thing by ending the engagement. I know that as hard as it was, that letting Logan go was for the best. I know that he will be a fantastic husband to Rory, and a wonderful father -no, Daddy- to their child. I know that I will go to their wedding, and that I will get to know Rory.

What I didn't know was by going to their wedding, that I would meet the man of my dreams. The nephew of the man that Rory looked to as a father. The man that who was a close friend of Rory's and despite their past, loved her now as I love Logan. The man that would become my friend, my rock, my lover. My partner. My everything.

What I didn't know was that Rory and I would become close friends ourselves, and that I would be asked to be a god mother to their little girl. And in turn that our children would be best friends in years to come.

But that is to come. For now, I know peace.


End file.
